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Friday, April 20th, 2001
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9:14 pm - Oh man....
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Its been a while... I don't even know where to start... A lot has happened in the past week. I don't even know what to say first... I slept over Marina's last saturday, it was awesome! *thinks* I'm the manager (well, assistant manager) of 8th grade track and its really fun! I get to go to all the meets and shit, it cool- alot of responsibility, but fun. I saw 42nd street on wednesday, and Marina came over afterwards and we did karaoke and sang to Boris. haha. Today, Marina came home on my bus and we went to this spaghetti dinner thing which was fun. Then she finally went home at 8. AHH I cant wait! tomorrow, me and rachel are going to six flags! WHOO HOO! AHHH season passes! :o) Welp- ttyl byebye
current mood:  hyper
current music: Less Than Jake: I Think I Love You
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| Thursday, April 12th, 2001
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6:35 pm - Oh yea...
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And I miss Marina... :o( She's supposed to be home today, but I don't know what time. AHHH I am going crazy w.o her. Plus- Rachel is gone, and Steve hasn't been home for the past 6 hours. *sighs* Over all, I'm in a really bad mood.
current mood:  bitchy
current music: still Green Day: Warning
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6:33 pm - GOD!
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My dad is such a fucking jackass! I asked him if I can go to the mall, and he said no! He's like 'I don't like you hanging out at the mall late at night.' and I said 'too bad its not even 7, it gets darker later, and we're not 'hanging out' we're actually going to shop and go into stores... like we always do.' So he said 'No, I don't like useless walking around malls.' I'm like 'What the fuck dad! That is so unfair!' and he said 'I let you do a lot of things Naura..' and I said 'Exactly, so why won't you let me go to the mall?' and he's like 'this conversation is over'. OMG I hate him so much! What the hell is his problem!
current mood:  frustrated
current music: Green Day - Warning
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| Wednesday, April 11th, 2001
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5:10 pm
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If only you were in my shoes, then you could see how removed, detached and out of place I feel from the world, what I want, and what I could ever be....
current mood:  depressed
current music: Guster: Melanie
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| Tuesday, April 10th, 2001
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3:17 pm - Wow.....
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Wow... today was fun! I just got back from the park with Rachel and Steve. :o) It was really interesting! First we had tip-toe across a toxic-waste dump... Then I snuck into the mens bathroom with Steve and watched him use the urinal... freaky cheese! Then, me and Rachel went to the bathroom and the doors wouldn't lock... and like, the stall doors flew open mid-piss. Then Steve walked in... and we're like, with our pants down.. I'm like 'you can leave now...' Then we started to eat our subs, and the ducks started to chase Steve and they were attacking all of us. Steve was whipping the goose with his slim-jim. It was funny. THEN we went to the wood playground and Steve fell on the hard concrete. hahahaha. It was really funny. Then he went and climbed this big wooden thing, and and he fell off. It was funny. THEN we went and we rode this big plastic car. We were trying to balance on it, but it didn't really work. Me and Rachel went on the tire-swing and then Steve had this crazy idea that he was going to try to kill us. Then we were trying to get off, and he wouldn't let us. It was sooo scary! Then we were breaking it... We really wanted to go home, but my mom was no where to be found. She then just happened to drive by so we hopped in and went home, and now they are over and we're typing this.
current mood: slutty, in this halter top...
current music: Steve singing 'MmmBop'
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| Monday, April 9th, 2001
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7:28 pm - WTF
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...I love how my next door neighbor is joining a nudest colony...
....and thinks their backyard is a nudest beach...
I really love how its a 70 yr old guy...
and i really really love how my mom is yelling over to him to put on clothes...
and I REALLY REALLY love how he's cursing her off...
Jesus guys.... his is dick is just hanging there. I really don't love that...
I mean- maybe if it wasn't so wrinkly and stuff....
and maybe if he wasn't playing w/ it....
current mood:  confused
current music: Just my mom and that old naked guy yelling....
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4:14 pm - STUPID!
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I hate the people who live behind me. I was all set, I put lemon in my hair, got a good book, my discman ready w. the new CD i got today, sunscreen, and my chair, and all ready to sit out. But NO the fuckers decided to throw a bbq party!! And I feel funny sitting out there w/ them all watching me... so FUCK THEM. *sighs* Sorry... Its just so nice out, and I don't want the day to go to waste.
current mood:  hot
current music: Brady Bunch : Sunshine Day
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| Sunday, April 8th, 2001
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9:20 pm - ...Today
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Today was pretty good. I woke up to my aunt pounding on my door.... I ate breakfast/lunch whatever you want to call it, and practiced guitar for a while (I can see clearly now!!). Then Steve called and informed me I am going to the movies with him, Jackie, Maria and Kerri. So I put some clothes on, and check my neopets, and head for the mall. I come to realize we were suppose to meet at 6:15, not 5:30, So I decided to walk around the closed mall for a half an hour and then I finally call Steve to tell him to ride his bike over now. Jackie is no where in site, plus she wasn't home all day, so she didn't show up, and we called kerri at the mall, and she wasn't able to go. We met maria by the movies, bought tickets and went to see 'Someone Like You'. I really liked it. My mom and I are going to menlo tomorrow- fun fun. Okay, I'm going. byebye
*~Naurie~*
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Anthony Rapp: Always
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3:21 pm - Surf Wax America
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Hi.... I'm going to the movies tonight with Steve, Jackie, Maria and Kerri. Fun fun. We're seeing 'Someone like you'. It looks alright. I just want to get my mind off of everything shitty happening right now. Rina *tear... I miss her* recommended this book to me called 'Tell Me Your Dreams', and I started reading it this morning, and I'm on page 128 now. Its really good, I can't seem to put it down. Welp, I'm going to go get ready now for the mall (either so we're meeting in like, 3 hours) *sighs* I think I'm going to menlo tomorrow with my mom to get new spring/summer clothes.... righto. Bye.
*~Scottie~*
current mood:  discontent
current music: Third Eye Blind: God of Wine
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| Saturday, April 7th, 2001
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11:08 pm - : - \
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Lost my train of thought around Chicago
Found a little Saudis where you lay
Never made collages as a young child
Not that much to see, so much to say
Now even in this silence there?s a thunder
And rain that steals the breath beneath this cage
But at least I've got your memory to soothe me
This bitter poison ripening with age
Because everything I've ever done
I've done because I loved you.
Silly you should ask,
I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year
Scared that I might need you.
Bring me down and I'll feel again
Everything I ever done
I've done because I loved you
Sideways.... sideways.
Lost my patience well before west 4th street
Found a copper coin, said 'seize the day'
And I let the angry audience surround me
Hiding as I screamed 'give for the play'
And even in this silence there?s a thunder
A shred of comfort standing at my door
And at least I've got the sense to reconstruct you
And leave you twice as lucid as before
Because everything I've ever done
I've done because I loved you.
Silly you should ask,
I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year
Scared that I might need you.
Ring me down and I'll feel again
Everything I ever done
I've done because I loved you
Sideways.... sideways.
And you left your mark
And you left your face in the corner of my mind three times
You left your mark
You left yourself
At least I've got the sense to sense what's coming,
And realize that good things never come to those who wait too long.
Because everything I've ever done
I've done because I loved you.
Silly you should ask,
I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year
Scared that I might need you.
You gotta being me down and feel again
Everything I ever done
I've done because I loved you
Sideways.... sideways.
current mood: sad
current music: ...Just singing to myself
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5:08 pm - Sideways
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Jesus, my dad is such an asshole. I hate him. I asked him to call ticketmaster to see if they concert it sold out- right? And he's like 'they didn't mention the concert' and I said 'was it a recording?? and he said 'yes' and I said 'well they cant fit every concert onto the recording' and he?s like 'you know what Naura, why don't YOU call. I could care less about this. I'm doing this as a favor' and he?s like 'stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop crying' GOD I want to kill him so much. My mom is like to him 'don't worry about her, I'll take care of this' and he's like 'I wasn't worrying the minute I got into the car to go to CD world. I can care less about this concert' I've been crying since I got home from CD world, and my dad doesn't give a shit. Its not that I cant go to the concert (well... that's part of it) its just the principal of the fact my dad is a fucking asshole and could care less about what I want, need, and feel things are better without him. Much better. He could at least be nice about he situation.... And Steve, I know you're right, I'm just really pissed off right now about everything. I just need to get away... To go out tonight, but of course all my friends are on vacation. -Rachel is leaving tomorrow too...
current mood: depressed
current music: None
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2:43 pm - Fuck Life
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You know, I thought my spring break was going to be awesome. Sunny, nice, fun, booked with things to do. Of course we cant always get what we want, but I didnt do anything to deserve this. I really hate myself, and life right now. Everything I really want, I cant have. Its suppose to rain all week, and of course s&sf is sold out. Great. I had my heart set on this day Boris asked me to go with him 3 weeks ago. I finially got the OK that I can go, and I got my amazingly awesome friends to go with, got their money, and the day I go to ticketmaster to get the tickets, they said they just sold out that morning. Ya know- Why the fuck is my mom so such a selfish bitch? Why couldn't she have taken me wed.? I would have the tickets, and not on the verge of committing suicide again. This ruines all the chances I have with Car... not the mention the girl he likes is considering going out with him- so its not like I had a chance in the first place. Marina is in domincan republic, and I have no way to get in touch with her to tell her the bad news. Chrissy... Soll and I were so looking forward to saturday with all our hearts. We were going to the mall to get new clothes, and just to chill and stuff but no. God had to put this fucking guilt trip on me. I am sitting here thinking of all the reasons why I deserve this fate. Why? Am I that bad of a person that I cant ever do anything I really want? Of course all my friends are going (besides rina and soll). I can't stop crying, and I just dont get it. Can someone please tell me why? I might just have to take this into drastic measure... Someone please save me.
current mood: depressed
current music: Matt Caplan: Favorite Puppet
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| Friday, April 6th, 2001
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4:22 pm - Its offical
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Spring break guys! WHOO HOO! Too bad its raining today... dammit- I was really looking forward to going to lawencebrooke. :o( grrr. My daddy is cmming home tonight, and he's taking me out to dinner- so I cant go out w/ the crew. *sighs* I just practiced guitar for a full hour. My fingers are like, bleeding. welp... I dont know what to say. Today in school was so boring with reeniecakes. I was so depressed. I was hyper in chorus though. Solo day was fun! I sang 'Time Warp' and 'Aint no mountian high enough' with some people from my class. Today in lunch me and Christine had a funny talk about my deep thoughts on the toilet.... dont ask. Righto... okay, I'm going to go now, but I'll be back.
current mood:  okay
current music: Zero to Nothing: MTV
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| Thursday, April 5th, 2001
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8:59 pm - Dude
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Today was awesome. I had such an amazing time on the trip. :o) I met some new friends and acquainted with old ones. I didnt get one answer... all day I copied off of people. *giggles* Lunch time was great! We were running around trying to find a girl for Brian... but no such luck. Everyone had fun with my vibrating duck. The ferry was fun too! -untill Steve was being mean and wished for me to die. He wanted the boat to tip over and for me to fly out the window and drown. :o( The bus ride home was real quite, everyone was sleeping, then we had to get onto another bus to go home... I cant wait untill tomorrow. :o) I REALLY hope it doesnt rain. A bunch of the crew is walking to lawencebrooke right after school and just chillin' and playing hockey or whatever. I can't wait. I dont want to go to school tomorrow, or at least not english.. I really dont want to do my monoglouge! HELP! EP! Haha. Today after school I went over Rachel's and Craig and Dan rode their bikes over and we had some fun. I got soaked because Dan had to be a loser and spray me all over with water. Then we were playing chase, and hid and go seek or something... it was fun. okay, gtg now byebye!
current mood:  happy
current music: Incubus: Clean
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| Wednesday, April 4th, 2001
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9:33 pm - Heh heh heh (in honor of stevo) haha- i mean heh heh heh w/ the extra h's
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*sighs* Today is a very good day, but a very bad day. Found out Car likes Byn... BUT Found out I can go to s&sf! :o) I'm going with 2 of my most awesomest friends. Soll and Rina! OMG. I love them so much! I love you too Rachie! :o) Welp, I went over Rina's house today and she was so cute with her glasses on. hehe. She gave me some $$ for the tix to the concert and one day this weekend I am going to ticket master to get the tix for me and her and soll. I have to get ready to Ellis Island tomorrow... I want to go, but I hate my group and bus and everything! :o( OMG I am going to miss marina so much. Its bad enough she's not going to be in school to help me cope w/ my Car problem... but she's not even going to be in the fucking country! Noooooo. At least I have soll and rach. *thinks* I adore reeniefus with all my heart and I dont know what I will do w/o her this whole week. No more late night phone chats untill 3 in the morning watching hot shots and grandpa's in thongs... and hair in ass cracks, and dyarea, and period stains on walls, and *sighs* and the guys we like.... I am trying my best not to think about marina, b/c it will just make be depressed. I have to finish my stupid catch all for creative living. NOO that reminds me of her! :o( Okay then... I have to pick out what I am going to wear tomorrow. NOO me and her always do that together- not to mention the fact I am wearing her sweatshirt still since I am yet to take it off since my head is too big... okay, I'm tired of writing, and I'm sure you're tired of reading.... *gulps* Ellis Island should be fun tomorrow w. Soll! We're going to disemsemble a bench, and torment the birds- right hun? Haha! SHIT BALLS. I really need to practice guitar! :o( I really dont want to go saturday... On wednsday I think I'm going to menlo w/ soll to get some cool skater clothes for the concert. :o) Okay, I'm getting off now...
Wait... I absolutely LOVE soll's journal entry today... its so thoughtful, and true. it is, 'Some days you just look in the mirror and see a person that you dont know and are scared of. In the midst of trying so hard to figure out others, i learned that my proporities were wrong and what i really needed to do most, is figure out myself. So please, think about who you are b4 you decide what the hell it is your doing.' THAT IS SOOO TRUE! haha I'm really leaving now... bye bye!
*~Scottie~*
P.S.- I think I'm going to start signing my name.
current mood: melancholy
current music: A New Found Glory: Boy Crazy
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| Saturday, March 31st, 2001
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12:15 pm - Date Rape
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I have guitar in about an hour. Then, I'm picking Rachel is coming over. WE HA! We're going to watch a movie. I cant wait. I haven't done anything with her in a while! :o) *cough cough* I'm kinda still sick, but I'm not contagious. Welp, I gotta go practice guitar!
current mood:  mellow
current music: Sublime: Date Rape
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| Friday, March 30th, 2001
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10:55 pm - Crazy?
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God, what is wrong with me? I get so paranoid over the stupidest things. I can get very sensitive when people tell me things I don't want to hear, or when they tell me wrong things. They don't usually mean to hurt my feelings or anything, but I twist their words the wrong way sometimes and end up getting upset. That usually leads to depression, and I don't know why. okay... I have nothing else to say
current mood: sad
current music: Carol King: So Far Away (dont ask why.....)
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6:51 pm - Strep?
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I went to the doctors yesterday and got a throat culture. Today, my mom picked me up early from school, I guess it was good b/c she said the doctor called and the results came back positive, meaning I have strep. *sighs* we went to burger king for lunch. I really want pizza for dinner, but my mom refused to let me have it b/c we 'ate out' for lunch... whatever.
current mood: cranky
current music: Reel Big Fish with Save Ferris: She's Got a Girlfriend Now
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| Thursday, March 29th, 2001
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1:58 pm - Sick Day 2
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I am home sick again. My mommy is taking me to the doctor around 4 today... its about 2 now. *sighs* I love this song. (I Believe (When I Fall In Love With You It Will Be Forever)by Stevie Wonder) Its so sweet. Its my brother and his girlfriend's song. :o) Its a very not known song... He made me download it, and I love it. Its from the movie High Fidelity. Thats a great movie (and an awesome book!!). Yup yup... Well... I have nothing to do.. so.... I guess i'll go. OH and- you know what pisses me off? On my little 'current mood' when i put 'sick' it makes a little face throwing up- but see- i'm not throwing up- i'm just sick- sore throat and all... so- ignore the barf.
current mood:  sick
current music: Stevie Wonder: I Believe
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| Wednesday, March 28th, 2001
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7:27 pm - Yesterday....
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Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I'm not half to man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
....yesterday *laughs to self* more like last year... this whole year is a big blur to me. 9th grade... freshman... *sighs* everything is happening so fast. Before you know it, spring break will be over, then we'll be at the semi, then last day of school, then last day of summer, then winter break... I hardly remember anything this year... maybe its because this splitting headache I have. Man... this week has been hell for me. I really can't take it anymore. Well, I just finished my stupid science project... I don't even think i'm coming to school tomorrow. I was lying down coughing a sneezing, and I was crying, and my mom came in and was like 'do you think you'll make it to school tomorrow?' and i said 'i don't know... i wanna see how i feel later' and shes like 'well, i'm working tomorrow so i cant pick you up early or anything' so i think i'll stay home, i'm not sure.... I mean, I really do feel like shit. I made up to 2 tests I had to, and I don't see any need for me to be in school other then my science project, but its not like i'm procrastinating b/c i have that done. Its not like i'm eluding the presentation, b/c i'm not nervous.... I could care less about my grade in that class. Well.. for those who don't know I did it again last night (not pot...) Yea... i was in the shower, and i was just so fucking frustrated with everything, i just did it again, and again, and again. Its not as bad as last time- god help he if it was... its more though... but not as deep and all. Well.. that's life for you. Fucks you up the ass sometimes...
current mood: sick
current music: Blue Man Group: Synaesthetic
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